I hate: (or
dislike, if you feel offended by the word hate)
Notice how long this list is. I must be a
typical Finn.
If you are one of those people who
take everything personally and are easily offended by almost anything,
you belong on my hate list too. You shouldn't be reading this anyway
because it contains potentially offensive material such as the word HELL
so just go away.
capital letters
I'm a lazy and slow typer so hitting the
shift key all the time isn't exactly my idea of a good time.
being lousy at
something
... but that hasn't stopped me since I've
made this home page just to prove the whole world (or at least the two
people who may be reading this) that I'm lousy at html. That just goes
on to prove that I'm a masochist at heart.
used handkerchiefs
I'm one of those people who have a cold
at least three times a year. I can't think of many things that are more
awful than putting your hand in your pocket and remembering that
you forgot to throw that used handkerchief away. Hyper-yuck.
cold water
Warm is so much nicer than cold. Why
torture yourself? I may be a masochist at heart but I'm (hopefully) not
crazy.
people waving their
hands at me in their cars when I'm driving
Why do people do that? That always pisses
me off. Like those pedestrians who knock on my bonnet when they want to
cross the street (I may be on their way but if there's a car right in
front of me and right behind me, where the hell do they want me to go?
Rise up in the air?). Anyway, people who gesture wildly because they
have to actually take their heads out of their a**holes (parents, do you
know what kind of filth your kids can find when they seem to innocently
browse the net?) (they might be influenced by bad language and start
using split infinitives, for instance) to be able to see that other
people are using the road too and no, the government didn't just spend
billions to build you your own highways and then they notice that I've
had to stop somewhere (maybe it's just my pettiness but I don't want to
be run over by a cement truck) and they have to actually try to avoid
driving right through me and then they get these spastic fits where they
wave and show their fingers at me - well, they're morons. My explanation
isn't too clear, but anyway I just wanted to say that I hate people who
take driving too seriously and I want to whack them with a baseball bat.
Road rage? Been there, done that.
losing
Losing sucks. I'm so confident (I just
read somewhere that using opposites to emphasize what you mean is a way
of speech most commonly used by the people who live in or near Helsinki.
Isn't that fascinating? (there we go again)) and hate losing so much
that I never take part in
competitions since I'm sure I'd lose and
I'd hate that. It's hard to be me.
somebody mocking
something/someone I love with absolutely no reason at all
Ok, I hate you even if you do have a
reason, but I try to understand (that's me telling lies. I almost never
try to understand people who disagree with me. My opinions are good! I'm
good! Agree with me!). You want to get on my hate list? Now you know
what to do!
people taking things
too seriously
That's boring. And boring sucks pretty
much too.
people who have no
sense of humor whatsoever
Now if you think I'm really going to come
and kill you if you say that Espoo Blues sucks, I assure you that you're
safe (although I think you'd deserve a punishment for being so boring).
I won't kill you. I almost never bite either and I'm pretty sure I'm not
rabid.
stupidity
Who needs self respect anyway? I can hate
stupidity even though I'm not exactly Einstein myself. (Probably the
description "she's the world's only brown-haired blonde" I
heard about myself is closer to the truth).
being older than
someone
I hate feeling old, so if you're younger
than me, stay away. (The bad thing is, this excludes a worryingly big
group of people from my life. And it gets bigger, every day. *weep*)
being ignored
I'm not invisible (not at all invisible -
if you can't see me, I think you'd better stay off the streets) so don't
treat me like I were. Get to know me, you arrogant little bastard. (I
just looooove insults.)
greasy pizzas
One day I'm going to scan (this'll never
happen, it's almost like putting one of those "under
construction" (ooh, another item to add to my hate list! Naah, it's
been done by too many people already) signs here) a picture of a pizza
we had in Germany that put me off pizzas for years. By the way, have you
ever noticed how people who carry pizza boxes almost always seem to look
pretty happy? I have a theory that connects the smell of pizzas and
happiness.
mushrooms
I don't trust mushrooms. I believe
they're all toxic deep down in their little mushroom hearts. They're
slimy and wobbly and ugly and scheming little creatures.
turkey
I don't trust birds that share their name
with a country (that has got to be to most convincing argument you've
ever heard. I bet even the best lawyers would have a hard time arguing
against this kind of logic. I'm probably wasting my time studying
engineering, maybe law's my thing?). Turkeys look mean and taste bad.
Well, smoked turkey. Ordinary turkey is pretty good, in fact. The
country's nice, too.
Xmas food in general
It's probably supposed to be pretty good
because everybody makes such a fuss about it but I'm not a big fan of
traditional Finnish Christmas food. Especially since we usually have
enough of it to feed a small army (wouldn't it be nice to own a
pocket-sized army, don't you think?).
beer
"juo yksi, kuset kaksi". It
tastes awful and makes toilets the centers of attention at parties.
writing letters
Do you mean I'd actually need to pick up
a pen and write something on a piece of paper? Or remember to buy
stamps? I'm having trouble even writing email...
missing a bus
as if other people would get some kind of
orgastic (or is it orgasmic? I wouldn't know...) enjoyment out of it.
swimming, skating
& cross-country skiing
I was forced to do all these (except for
the skiing) at school way too much. Swimming sucks because you have to
wear a swimsuit that covers almost 0,00001% of your body and I'm really
not an exhibitionist (if you hear wild rumors telling the opposite,
ignore them. I'm the only one you can trust in this crazy, unfriendly
world). Skating sucks because you have to cram your feet into two ice
cold shoes that are very uncomfortable and want to slide away from
you, usually leaving your butt behind (this causes your butt to make
contact with the ice and this is the part that hurts so much).
Cross-country skiing sucks because you have attach your feet to these
two stupid planks that either don't want to move or slide at an
incredible speed - usually backwards, when you're trying to go up a
hill.
having to get up
before 10 am
Actually I'm getting used to this since
I've had to get up way too early to go to work. I think it's a bit
sadistic to make people come to work at 6 a.m. especially if they
live in the center of the(ir) universe and the workplace is located in
the middle of nowhere.
YTL
They always get those grades wrong (I'm
the student who deserved 7 laudaturs, what's wrong with you guys?). I
still haven't got over it. Now that's worrying.
temperatures below +20
C and over +26 C
I can't handle cold weather. I can't
handle hot weather, either. That's probably why I sit at home and watch
TV. Yeah, that's it! I'm not a nerd or a geek, I just have this problem
with the weather and the temperature and that's why I can't go out. This
has nothing to do with the fact that I don't have a personal life to
speak of.
mosquitos
I'd be happy to feed them if the bloody
little suckers (hoho, what a pun!) didn't make me itch. I donate blood
to the Red Cross twice a year and they don't make me itch even though
they get a lot more of my precious blood than a horde of mosquitos.
boxing
Watching two sweaty guys beat the living
daylights out of each other? I can think of better ways to spend my
time. I can't understand people who actually pay money to see two guys
with the combined IQ of a herring fight.
people who won't stop
being annoying
If you're annoying, stop it. If you
don't, you're even more annoying. If you can't stop, don't come near me
when I'm carrying a baseball bat. (Yes, I do have a thing for baseball
bats.)
Prince/symbol/whateverthef**kheis
He's the only "artist" whose
songs make me switch off the radio instantly. He's the only
"musician" whose appearance makes me physically sick. He's the
only "guy" who has made records that are so bad that if I
accidentally touch them in the record store I have to wash my hands.
Good thing he's never held a concert in Finland, because otherwise I
might have had to live abroad until someone had disinfected the whole
country.
people who use more
than two exclamation or question marks (!!!!!??????)
The excellent Terry Pratchett had in one
of his excellent books (Reaper Man, to be specific) the sentence
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind". I
couldn't agree more. Is it even possible to agree more than completely?
I don't know, I just felt the urge to say something, no matter how (in
this case the answer is very in case you were wondering) corny it
sounds.
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